i need help.. weight/thyroid?
okay.. within the last year i've gained about 30 pounds. i'm a short 5'2 and at the moment am around 115. (yes i have an eating disorder. i was anorexic but now am having problems with stress binge eating)
the thing is i never had a problem losing the weight to begin with. i barely did anything, exercised a little but thats it, and ate around 700 calories to where i had gotten to my lowest of 88.
the problem i'm having now is that the almost 30 pounds i've gained have all gone to one area--my hips, thighs, and lower stomach. and i've been trying so hard to get it off or even just slim it down a LITTLE.
i work in a bakery practically full time (34 hours a week on average) and don't take breaks or lunches so i'm on my feet the whole 8 hours of my shift, carrying heavy boxes, moving heavy racks and really it takes a lot of strength to do that job so i burn a bit of calories there. then i go to the gym and burn atleast 200 on the eliptical. every day i do 20 minutes on my ab lounge, and a half hour of vigorous yoga and sometimes some kickboxing
baically, when i'm not at work or sleeping, i'm exercising. and i only eat about 1400 calories a day.. with an occasional bad binge up to 2000 or more
but my weight won't budge. i'm getting really exhausted exercising so much when it's not doing anything to help me. i know i've gained muscle in all this but my problem is with the fat that is still on top of the muscle that won't seem to go away.
i was reading an email the other day and it said that soy promotes weight gain because it apparently has something to do with blocking how your thyroid works and i looked up hypothyroidism and i had most of the symptoms but i feel like i'm trying to find a reason other than "i have no willpower to stop eating sooo much"
i'm getting really tired of all this and i'm not posting this to get sympathy or get people mad at me because i have an eating disorder and am trying to figure out how to lose weight. its just that i'm eating so unhealthy and bingeing and i'm sure the stress doesn't help with the weight-loss efforts because of cortisol... i just don't know what to do anymore and i don't know if anyone else has had a problem similar and found out different reasons for the problem that i could look into and discuss with my doctor, because he is kind of flabbergasted too
because there is no reason that someone eating around 1400 calories a day and exercising so much SHOULDNT be losing weight..
plus i'm so unhappy with it all, and my boyfriend and i are going away to his cabin the weekend after thanksgiving and i want to feel better in my body by then so i can enjoy our time alone
sorry this is so long, i'm just really out of ideas and need some help... any information would be really greatly appreciated...
Could it be that your metabolism is screwed up from the eating disorder? Have you talked to a doctor? If you actually ate 2000 calories on a regular basis do you think your metabolism could be normal again?
i see my doctor every week so its an ongoing thing that we talk about. i dont know what's up with my metabolism. when i was eating only about 700 calories a day it was in the form of a big bowl of icecream and that's it. i've been eating normal and healthier food for over a year now, only just in an amount that's too much because its causing me to gain weight.
if i ate 2000 calories on a regular basis i would gain even more weight. its almost as if i can't lose weight but i can gain it sooo easily, no matter how much i try to exercise it off. :(
if i ate 2000 calories on a regular basis i would gain even more weight.
Maybe at first, but then things would become more "normal" as you got healthier. I would suggest just being compliant with what your doctor suggest eating. I imagine with your history and level of physical activity it is more than 1400 calories a day.
if i ate 2000 calories on a regular basis i would gain even more weight.
Maybe at first, but then things would become more "normal" as you got healthier. I would suggest just being compliant with what your doctor suggest eating. I imagine with your history and level of physical activity it is more than 1400 calories a day.
actually.. my dr suggests 1000 calories a day... which isnt a problem for me.. the problem is that i continue snacking on everything and end up between 1400-1600 :-\
Hey Seriea, I thought about you the other day. I was like: "where'd she go?"
I think I am classifying ED recovery as torture. Let's go through it together? I know i had this SAME FREAKING PROBLEM. I thought all i was doing was packing on massive thighs and hips and a poochy belly! But then I realized my mind was just distorted, and i looked alright (pretty thin actually at only 100 lbs right now)--I just wasn't used to having "fat" there. Try looking at yourself in one of those 3 way mirrors in a store's dressing room. I bet you'll appear completely different. I think your brain is just tricking you to make you think you're "Fat"--so that is ALL you see.
I watched this ED documentary with this tiny little girl in it who just stared at the mirror and bawled. She SAW herself and "knew" herself to be humongous....but it wasnt really true. You know how powerful the mind can be at altering your thoughts....
(Speaking of altered thoughts, if you do drugs you might consider doing them before looking at the mirror....your preoccupied brain will let you see your true self and mine always looked different--thinner-- than the cow i always see staring back at me in the mirror. And I DONT condone the use of drugs and never ever ever start them! I'm just relaying my experience.)
I don't understand- why would your dr recommend 1000 calories for someone your age and level of physical activity? I have never of an adult being recommended less than 1400 a day- and you aren't even overweight? Have you ever had a second opinion?
I don't understand- why would your dr recommend 1000 calories for someone your age and level of physical activity? I have never of an adult being recommended less than 1400 a day- and you aren't even overweight? Have you ever had a second opinion?
i do have to say i guess that i was referred to my current doctor because he is an eating disorder specialist. he has been with me since i was 88 pounds and knows how i have gone from eating nothing to eating everything and not being able to stop. i'm not overweight, but at a short 5'2", having all that weight go to one area is really affecting me and i suspect when he suggests 1000 calories, he's thinking of all the other things--that i can't sleep because i'm so upset, that i'm crying on a daily basis, and that my increased depression over my weight may soon cause me to lose the man i love (because seriously.. no one can really handle this disease)... he probably is also thinking about the fact that i've been discussing suicide more frequently because of my distress over the situation
i've told him (and my BF and family) many times that i don't want to be 88 pounds again. i truly don't. i felt horrible, took me 2 hours to get out of bed in the morning and had no energy at all. and my dr has agreed to monitor me if i got to my goal weight of 100-105 and keep me in-line if i try to lose more than that. and i think it's a good thing, because i dont want to lose more than that...
i've gone through many different doctors before coming to him and he is the first one who didn't immediately give me the "if you dont take medication, i can't help you". i hate medication. i have tried a couple different ones since having this doctor because of the suicide talk and not wanting to feel this way all the time, but the lexapro made me unable to cry even tho i was still miserable, and the prozac made me physically ill every day.
my parents and boyfriend all support my wanting to lose a couple pounds because they see how unhappy i am. they still worry, especially my BF, but they understand. i have many people looking out for me. but it seems wasteful since i can't even lose weight anymore.
AshleyKimball, it's really not all in my mind. i mean, i know SOME of it is. if i'm in a good mood and look at myself, i don't see myself as so hideous. if i am depressed and look at myelf in the mirror, all i see is ugly and fat. but i have gotten a lot bigger. i hate saying this but i went from a size 5 pants to a size 13 because, like i said, all of the weight went straight to my hips area. i can look at myself sideways in the mirror and think i look alright. but if i look straight-on, my hips just bulge out. and the fact that my thighs now touch drives me insane.
ED recovery definately is torture.. every day is a struggle, and i feel like a failure every day because i eat over 800 calories. and i feel so conflicted because i want to recover but i want to lose weight at the same time. and i've been taught that losing weight isn't part of recovery since i used to be so thin.. but if i went from one extreme to the other, i guess losing weight and being in control of the binge eating would be a success in my recovery?? its so confusing!
what documentary did you watch? have you seen "thin"? i have it and the book and watch it and read the book sometimes when i am feeling alone in this. it comforts me but also disturbs because it feels like i'm back in the hospital along with them.
god i talk too much
i cant believe that a doc would recommend 1000 cals/ day! that doesnt seem to be enough for someone (ANYone), esp w/ your activity level!
the only thing i can think of is that he is trying to start you off slowly, so that you dont go from 700 cals to a million, and then freak out and the cycle begins again.
i also dont think that 115 lbs is heavy AT ALL for you!!
instead of cutting the cals and trying to lose weight, pump up your arms, it will visually help balance out a heavier bottom. shoulder lifts, shrugs, etc.
at this point, the weight you aregaining is prob in response to the long starvation. your body is finally being fed, and it wants to hold on to the energy. one of the first places a woman will gain is in the hips...we are supposed to have them!!
now is not the time to restrict... keep eating, keep being active and your body will find its balance of metabolism soon. im going thru that now myself. it feels so wrong, totally contrindicated, but you just have to push thru it. it will just take some time, and some faith on your part.
Hi Sariea,
I understand your respect for your doctor, but I do believe that 1000 calories could be very bad for you in terms of keeping your metabolism messed up. I have ALWAYS heard that under 1,200 calories your body goes into starvation mode and shuts down your metabolism to any extent it can, which is why it is so much harder to lose the weight. It seems like you now have a really good idea of what is good for you (weight-wise), so I really think you should first be trying to normalize your body functions before trying to lose weight. Hopefully if it isn't too terrible for you you could try to plan lots of healthy snacks (since snacking helps your metabolism keep going), do some light weight lifting (to gain muscle mass which also helps metabolism), and eating a relatively consistent amount (hopefully over 1,200 calories).
It is super tough t recover physically from something like that, and to do that at the same time as recovering psychologically can be super hard! It just seems like you are getting a really good handle on what is good for you and accepting and understanding that, so perhaps you could help your body physically by trying to normalize it.
Sariea, your description brought me back...I remember the time before I was diagnosed with Thyroid disease....I thought I was losing my mind! I couldn't sleep, had no energy, my hair was falling out & I didn't give a rats' ass about anything or anyone. I cried because I didn't know what was happening & I surely couldn't stop it on my own....lord knows I tried to make it go away. IF what you have is Thyroid disease, it is easy to manage.
DEMAND a blood test! It's a simple little blood test & if the ED specialist won't request it, go to your GP!
I wish you all the best.
Sariea, your description brought me back...I remember the time before I was diagnosed with Thyroid disease....I thought I was losing my mind! I couldn't sleep, had no energy, my hair was falling out & I didn't give a rats' ass about anything or anyone. I cried because I didn't know what was happening & I surely couldn't stop it on my own....lord knows I tried to make it go away. IF what you have is Thyroid disease, it is easy to manage.
DEMAND a blood test! It's a simple little blood test & if the ED specialist won't request it, go to your GP!
I wish you all the best.
ok. thank you
Ive had drs recommend 1000 cals a day when they were first trying to get me to start eating normally, that may be where your DR is coming from. He may have intentions of getting your meal plan up more later. One thing that found really helpful was NOT counting calories (I know its easier said than done after you have memorized the caloric content of everything!) I go by food group planning- I aim for a certain number of veggies, fruits, grains, proteins, fats perday...serving sizes...not calories.
Have you spoken with a dietitian? I found the work I did with a good dietitian was soooo helpful!
In addition to the above mentioned advice, I have a few suggestions, dear...
along VHZ's suggestion of planning meals by food groups and not calorie counting: Aim for whole, nutrient-dense foods that give you "more bang for your buck," that is, more benefits per calorie. I have found this tool to be helpful:
http://www.nutritiondata.com/tools/nutrient-search
you can search for foods that are richest in nutrient X, and lowest in nutrient Y (like fat or calories). You can search by just one or both of those criteria combined...and it will break down all the search results into categories--veggies, legumes, meats( :P ), etc...PLUS it provides nutrition info on foods from some restaurants and fast food establishments.
That will probably help dissuade you from ever being tempted by those things that you know aren't good for your body. NOT that I'm promoting an orthorexic approach to food choices or anything, just suggesting emphasis on getting the most wholesome foods whenever you can.
Okay, so I peeked at your online journal.
it seems that you have about as much of a sweet tooth as I do! So I'm guessing that you might be taking in a lot of carbs, which will convert to fat if consumed in excess (i.e., binges...it's the same stuff I binge on, so I know where you're coming from).
*I'm not a medical professional, this is just what I know....So talk about these things with your doc*
While your weight is in the perfect BMI area for your height, it's quite possible that the weight is now made up of more fat than you're used to having. Like AshleyKimball said, we're supposed to have fat on our bodies! Personally, I can appreciate curves on my body, just not...y'know..bulges where there needn't be bulges. Since fat weighs less than muscle, two people with the same BMI (even a healthy one) can look completely different--One toned and sleek (more weight from muscle), and one with "bulges" (more weight from fat, therefore more mass).
Again, just talk to your doc about your dietary needs....But if you're a sugar fiend like me, it could be that you need to lower your carbs. This may mean eliminating or greatly reducing your personal access to sugary stuff, as in, just don't keep much around the house at one time.
But worry not! You DON'T have to completely give up all those yummy treats!
Two solutions that I employ:
1) Find the healthiest sweets recipes on here. Keep them around for when you're just dying for a treat, but be careful not to make a huge batch of them if control is an issue. Read the reviews, many people reduce the amount of sugar and sub out most or all of the oil to make them even healthier. (note on oils and such: don't completely eliminate fats from your diet, just give priority to good ones from seeds and nuts, etc., and cut back on hydrogenated oils and saturated fats)
These super healthy treats will be less sweet and probably have a different texture from the old favorites. But even I've learned to appreciate them as being just *different*, not necessarily inferior. After a while, you may even discover that the high sugar and oil content of some foods tastes worse in comparison...that's the way it works for me and cookies. I can't stand oily/buttery ones any more.
http://blog.fatfreevegan.com/ is also a great resource.
My favorite recipe on here is this one for oatmeal cookies:
http://vegweb.com/index.php?topic=6605.0
I replace the oil with applesauce and reduce the sugar. They're great because more oats, less flour = more soluble fiber!
2) If you really miss those super rich desserts, just make them for extra-special occasions. I see nothing wrong with the occasional indulgence.
here's one that I knowwww is really unhealthy, but I'm going to treat myself (and friends) to for X-Mas:
http://blog.fatfreevegan.com/2006/12/vegan-eggnog-cheesecake.html
(trigger WARNING: well-photographed food porn in the above link)
I'll treat these food items as extra-special guests in my tummy, but ones that I wouldn't want to invite over every day, or even every other week. That way they don't annoy me, and I can appreciate them that much more.
...this was lengthy, but I really hope it helps! I can't say I've been in your shoes, because only YOU know how it feels to be YOU. But I can say that I've worn a similar pair, and they sure do hurt...
*Hugs*
you're right. i do eat a lot of carbs. unfortunately my job doesnt really allow me to eat too many fruits or veggies. unless i get stuck with the third shift and get some time in the morning for some fruit, i usually dont eat any unless its my day off. because i'm always on the go and have no breaks at work, i bring easy-access carbs with me, like a yummy scone recipe from here, and some muffin recipes too. i always use whole wheat flour instead of white so i like to think its a healthier choice... as for calories like cutting down on sugar, i use splenda, which i know is itself bad but... eh...
i made myself a program on my laptop (php savvy) so i can input my daily mealplan and it gives me the nutrition info for everything so i'm kinda balanced out on everything i guess, even if it is mostly carbs, for example my meal plan today was as such (nutrition wise):
fat 14g 23.5%
saturated fat 6.1g 31% (wish i could get that down)
sodium 457.2mg 17.1%
carbs 135.6g 52.7%
fiber 15.2g 61.3%
sugar 47.6g (probably because i had cinnamon toast crunch cereal today)
protein 16.1g 32.5%
i know we're supposed to have fat and i really hate to keep saying this but everything i have gained has gone to ONE AREA. its not like the 30 pounds was evenly spread throughout my body. it went to my hips, thighs and lower stomach, which i know is normal for women but jeez...
its hard for me to not be around carbs and sugar since i work in a bakery where we can eat whatever we want, and i still live with my parents who are both overweight and don't really care too much about a diet. theres always rice krispie treats and icecream and such (im not vegan). the thing i have a problem with is bread. when i go on a really bad binge i head straight for the bread drawer. 99% of the time it's rye bread with spray-on margarine. but that was only after all the peanut butter was gone. lluckily my mom was willing to help me out with that by not buying PB anymore.
i just got into those Craving-Cure cookies and have managed to get it down to about 98 calories per cookie by using Sunspire chips instead of regular chocolate chips and more splenda instead of so much brown sugar. whenever i let myself have something sweet, i make sure it's as low cal as possible and things like that--which could be a reason why i eat half the batch in one sitting...
and i don't have to worry about cheesecake because i dont like cheesecake ;) i do have to stay away from the donuts unfortunately
...god i hate carbs so much ...but they taste so good ;)
I have not read the replies to this at all, so nobody take this as an attack but: don't take advice about weight loss from people online. Go to a doctor and a nutritionist that deal with people with ED's and see what they have to say about eating right and loosing weight, stick to their advice, and listen to what they have to say.
Good luck.
Are you sure your body isn't just telling you it LIKES to be at a higher weight than what you are used to? 115 lbs is nothing! It is perfect for someone of your height!!
I am 5'3" and my body is happiest at around 125-130 lbs. I feel healthy, thin (enough), and strong at that weight. In my experience, when I tried to go below 125 in the past, I would become unhealthy and really struggle. My body definitely likes what it likes, and by listening, I have found a lot of peace of mind.
Just my experience, but I think you are far from overweight in the slightest!!! Plus, I agree. Eating too few calories (1000 is way too little for everyday, even for many sedentary people!) will slow your body's metabolism down, as you will go into "starvation mode."
Many hugs and blessings as you discover your own beauty and truth!!! :)
115 is not for me. i don't feel healthy or thin (enough) or strong. i am extremely uncomfortable and spend most of my time in pajamas because even the clothes i just bought are "too much" for me to deal with, and they are the correct size for me. i dont like that i can't move the way i used to be able to.
Are you sure your body isn't just telling you it LIKES to be at a higher weight than what you are used to? 115 lbs is nothing! It is perfect for someone of your height!!
I am 5'3" and my body is happiest at around 125-130 lbs. I feel healthy, thin (enough), and strong at that weight. In my experience, when I tried to go below 125 in the past, I would become unhealthy and really struggle. My body definitely likes what it likes, and by listening, I have found a lot of peace of mind.
Just my experience, but I think you are far from overweight in the slightest!!! Plus, I agree. Eating too few calories (1000 is way too little for everyday, even for many sedentary people!) will slow your body's metabolism down, as you will go into "starvation mode."
Many hugs and blessings as you discover your own beauty and truth!!! :)
That is a good point. I have had a similar experience. I weigh about 130. I like the way I look at 120, but I notice that physically I'm stronger and have more energy at 130. Not to mention I seem like I'm just happier at 130 than 120. Sure I may look a little better at 120, but what is the point if it effects me emotionally and physically?
It could just be that 115 is the best weight for your body. And that your body is doing everything in it's power to keep you at 115. Just to clarify- is your dr telling you to eat 1000 calories a day to help you lose weight?
I'm not familiar with your exercise regimen but do you do any resistance training? I know many woman are terrified to work out with weights for fear of becoming "masculine" in a sense but unless they are taking steroids, all that type of exercise will do is tone you up and as you gain muscle, speed up your metabolism, which always helps to maintain a weight you're happy with. Just restricting calories will only backfire in the long run, forcing your body into "starvation mode" and the cravings will still be there. When the girls I work with start telling me that they're going on a diet(many with extreme tactics), I always suggest that they just eat healthy, do some cardio 3 times a week and supplement it with a couple of days of weight resistance. I think most women become too obsessed with the numbers they see on their weight scales instead of just concentrating on their appearance. You say you are 5'2"- if you weighed 110 lbs. and were not in good shape, it would look completely different than if you weighed 5 pounds more but were toned and taut. Anyway, it's just a thought...like I said, I don't know what you do at the gym exactly. Just try not to be so hard on yourself. You are obviously an intelligent person and I think ultimately, you will reach a level of satisifaction with your body. It may not be tomorrow but if you are understanding with yourself, you'll get there. Good luck!!!
my dr is telling me 1000 calories to help me lose weight. and like i've said. i was happier when i was thinner. even my boyfriend and family agree with that. my boyfriend Dean has been fighting me for months about losing weight and has finally, in the last couple weeks, realized i was a lot happier when i was thinner. of course i was really happy with my body at 88 but i was still okay at 100 and my clothes that i loved still fit me.
my exercise regimen is this per day:
20-25 minutes on the eliptical at the gym (around 200-250 calories burned)
30 reps each on the 2 machines that work the inside and outside of the thighs
at least 20 minutes of vigorous yoga (the kind that makes u sweat)
5 minutes of slow yoga
20 reps (each leg) of kickboxing i learned from a video a while ago
atleast 10 minutes on the ab lounge
i usually do some weights for my arms because i think they look fat in the back. like slow weight lifts in all kinds of directions and over the head, stuff like that. part of the yoga i do is slow push ups so thats kind of like using my body as a weight for that.
and if it's a day i work, that's extra exercise.
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