Frustrations with non-veg*ns...
Hi all! I think there is a bit of a rant coming (though I am calm & in a good mood--I'm just venting a little!), so I first wanted to say that I consider myself an extremely open-minded person. Of course, when it comes to politics, religion, ethics, morals, etc. (all that personal opinion stuff), I have my views & beliefs, but I also love listening to what others have to say. I don't often think I am "right"; I just see things a certain way & believe them to be true, but I understand & appreciate that there are others with diverse opinions out there that differ from mine! Long story short, I think I'm pretty understanding, open-minded & appreciative of everyone's differences. I have learned a lot from opinions that I don't share.
That being said... Lately, I have been feeling more & more frustrated by the actions & lifestyles of non-vegans. (Of course, there are individuals who I am sometimes irritated by, but not really by too many "groups" of people on a day-to-day basis.) I try not to be judgmental, and I remind myself that not everyone feels that the veg*n lifestyle is for them. And they have the right to believe that. Logically, I know this. But emotionally...? That's a different story.
I have never really enjoyed the sight of meat, or thinking about the fact that an animal died for that person to eat their sandwich or whatever... But recently, I feel downright angry & disgusted when I see people eating meat (sometimes even cheese or dairy, but at least that's not flesh). Just the nonchalantness that people go about eating meat really disturbs me--like the animals were always there only for their own disposal & it's no big deal to eat it. I would almost understand (but probably not partake) in something like a once-yearly ritual of eating turkey on a holiday like Thanksgiving, and really, truly appreciating the life that that animal sacrificed for this meal... But eating meat at 3 meals a day? It's impossible for people who eat like this to really reflect on the impact they have & how their food choices matter to not only animals, but to other people, the environment, the future, etc. (not to sound like a bleeding heart or anything...). ;)
(I hope this is making sense. It's just that now that I'm an "outsider" to the meat-eating world, I keep noticing more than ever how often people eat meat & don't even think twice about it!!)
It is just really frustrating because I am almost to the point where I don't even want to eat around anyone who isn't veg*n. I know this would never happen (and I wouldn't truly want it to) because I love the whole socializing aspect of having a great meal with friends & family, and as long as I can get a vegan dish at the restaurant we go to, I'm set. But it is just hard (not in a "woe is me" sort of way; just upsetting) to be around so much meat and, therefore, cruel eating habits...
I remember when I read Becoming Vegan, there was a mention of the possibility of this happening, and I kind of dismissed it because I'm usually so open about everyone's differences... But now that I know so much about the meat, dairy, etc. industries, it's hard to just turn a blind eye. Last night I had a great night out with friends, spent the night at a dear old friend's apartment & at lunchtime today, we all ordered Chinese delivery. I ordered a tofu dish, as did my omni friend Emily who just happens to like tofu, and my good friend said, "Oh, are you on this vegan kick, too?" Like it's a "low-carb" kick or something... I didn't get upset & it wasn't a big deal... I was just kind of like ???. And then some other kid (who I really like!) said, "Ugh. Tofu is just disgusting." I explained that, like all things, there is good tofu & bad tofu. I have definitely had tofu dishes that tasted like crap, but I've also had chicken that tasted like crap... That doesn't mean that all chicken is disgusting. (To meat-eaters, at least.) Plus, I would never say to someone after they ordered a steak, "Ugh. Steak is disgusting." (Even though I sometimes want to...)
Or when my mom, who loves the vegan dishes I make, says, "I could eat like this everyday if I had the time. I feel so good when I eat this way, but it's just so easy to cook meat." I always gently remind her that it's just as easy to cook amazing, healthful, quick vegan dishes--you just need to plan ahead sometimes & keep some staple food products on hand. (Plus, having a recipe arsenal like VegWeb doesn't hurt.) :)
I think I'm done for now... I think a lot about this (could you tell?? ::)), so I'm sure I'll be back. But I think I blabbered enough for now. Sorry to have gone on for so long! It's just a meat-filled world, I suppose, so the occassional venting is just necessary. :) Thanks for reading!
Has anyone else gone through feelings like this after going vegan?? Let's share some angry, frustrated veg*n camaraderie! ;)
I live with my parents and three younger siblings who all eat meat and absolutely everything else I DON'T eat. I do get disgusted, not only by their choice to eat meat even though every single one of them knows how awful it is and how it impacts everything that you listed above, but also by their dietary habits in general. my father is diabetic and doesn't seem to take too much care in his diet and my mother will avoid dairy and wheat because they make her feel badly but sits down, at least weekly, to eat an ENTIRE bag of hershey's kisses.
I also understand how it can disgust you to the point of almost (but not really because we all obviously love the meat eating people in our lives ;)) wanting to be with only vegans. It is normal to wish to spend time with people who share your opinions and beliefs. For me it is always somewhat of a shock when I see something or someone I know does something that is so completely "unvegan". For example in my chemistry class last year a pair of students I've known for years made a video about cooking. They made steak. I just felt awful watching it.
However, I think that each of us deals with our meat eating friends in our own ways. I could have chosen to lecture those students about eating meat but really, who would ever have any friends? haha. I think that choosing to vent here to vegweb to a lot of folks who most likely have felt like you have at some point in their lives, is the smart way to do things. There is nothing wrong, however, with making a point when someone, for example, refers to "that vegan kick". Education goes a long way I say :)
okay now sorry if I'm the one rambling haha..
For me it is always somewhat of a shock when I see something or someone I know does something that is so completely "unvegan". For example in my chemistry class last year a pair of students I've known for years made a video about cooking. They made steak. I just felt awful watching it.
However, I think that each of us deals with our meat eating friends in our own ways. I could have chosen to lecture those students about eating meat but really, who would ever have any friends? haha. I think that choosing to vent here to vegweb to a lot of folks who most likely have felt like you have at some point in their lives, is the smart way to do things. There is nothing wrong, however, with making a point when someone, for example, refers to "that vegan kick". Education goes a long way I say :)
I agree!! I never lecture anyone because I don't want to turn them off... No one wants to be "the angry vegan." To be honest, when I was younger (until probably 3 years ago, even!), I thought that vegans were a little nutty (though not actually knowing any in "real life") because of hearing things in the media & about the people who throw paint on people who wear fur, etc. I just thought veganism was "taking it too far" & being a little extreme. However, now that I am educated on the subject, I realize this is absolutely untrue. Thankfully, I was someone who was always drawn towards animal, health & environmental sustainability issues, so I learned about veganism on my own... But most people aren't interested in that. So I think it's almost my "duty" (for lack of a better word) to teach people that vegans aren't crazy paint-throwers who just want the poor animals in labs to be let out from their cages. It is so much deeper than that, but most people are never exposed to that.
And about that steak video for your class... I feel the same way when I watch the Food Network now! Which is actually pretty upsetting to me because I used to love the Food Network. I started watching it regularly when I went to college (I think because it was comforting & reminded me of my mom's home cooking :)), and it also made me fall in love with cooking & inspired me to try new recipes. But I never noticed until the last year or so that there is so much meat on every single show! Pretty much every main dish centers around meat, and every dessert includes dairy & eggs. Now I usually just go through vegan cookbooks & look at recipes instead of watching Rachael Ray cook another steak. ;)
Just the nonchalantness that people go about eating meat really disturbs me--like the animals were always there only for their own disposal & it's no big deal to eat it.
I know - and it's so frustrating. people don't stop to think about the food they eat. food, whether we like it or not, has the most impact on the environment - out of everything we do. growing/raising, production, packaging, transportation - it all impacts the planet, immensely. I've heard we're at a "tipping point of environmental consciousness" - but until people realize that eating veg*n is the best thing we can do to protect the earth, and live sustainably, then I don't see how we could be anywhere near that tipping point.
(I hope this is making sense. It's just that now that I'm an "outsider" to the meat-eating world, I keep noticing more than ever how often people eat meat & don't even think twice about it!!)
exactly...
what's really hard for me is when I feel like I'm being judged for my choices. sometimes, when I say I'm vegan, people are impressed. but other times, when I talk about my values, I know I'm being judged. I try not to judge others for their choices (which can be pretty hard), but when people roll their eyes, look down at me, and when I can tell they think veganism and vegan-type values aren't legitimate, I feel miniscule. I feel pretty low. I hate that. it's tough being different.
I don't have many like-minded people - with the same interests and values. veganism is really important to me, and developing vegan cooking/baking skills is also really important to me. I don't want to whine, but I have to admit, I'm missing out on interaction with other vegans. I get that here on vegweb, and it's been wonderful. it would be nice, though, to know people who won't judge me for my values. but really it's up to me to find those people, isn't it?
oh, and meat is gross. the end.
And about that steak video for your class... I feel the same way when I watch the Food Network now! Which is actually pretty upsetting to me because I used to love the Food Network.
exactly exactly exactly!
I really think that one of the only ways I don't go crazy (being in high school where people are just so nonjudgemental to begin with.....) is working at Cafe Indigo. Being in a place where the most exciting thing that happens in the day is making an amazing mac 'n sheese (fabulous product!) to serve as a special has definately helped me deal with some of the other things going on.
There must be SOMEONE near you who is vegan, we should have a map feature so we can see where everyone is from on here!
ugh, my parents went vegetarian a few weeks ago, but they eat fish like there's no tomorrow and loads of cheese.
and they brag about being healthy now.
it's stupid. you have no idea how badly i would love to say that to their face.
i only know one other vegan. my mom's friend's daughter.
everyone else is a person i've met on vegweb, but you kids totally rock.
ugh, my parents went vegetarian a few weeks ago, but they eat fish like there's no tomorrow and loads of cheese.
and they brag about being healthy now.
Aaargh. It drives me nuts when people call themselves vegetarians, yet eat fish. I get that they're sort of two different kinds of flesh, but... It's not like fish is not a plant or anything! It's still flesh!
And I definitely understand that some people go vegetarian at their own pace, and if their ultimate goal is to cut out all meat (including fish), then that's fantastic & should be encouraged! (So I'm not trying to me judgemental whatsoever. Even with fish, it's deifnitely better than the SAD! :)) But... It's my belief that it sends the wrong impression to meat-eaters to say that you're a vegetarian, but you'll eat fish. (And I know this discussion was had recently in another thread; I just wanted to respond here, since Chickpea brought it up again!) ;)
I like what Mollie Katzen (vegetarian cookbook author; my old favorite of hers is The New Moosewood Cookbook) calls herself... A flexitarian. She is vegetarian almost every day of the year, but once in awhile she'll have fish, and even less than that, she eats organic, free-range chicken. I think that is much more accurate, although I'm sure the title would take explaining to people. So does explaining that you're a vegetarian but you eat fish. ::)
Don't worry about them.But to that girl who said about the vegan kick, you should've said no I'm a true vegan. And to that boy who said,"oh tofu that's disgusting".You shoulda said that's not nice. Please I'm eating here. How would you like it if I said that about your food.
Don't worry about them.But to that girl who said about the vegan kick, you should've said no I'm a true vegan. And to that boy who said,"oh tofu that's disgusting".You shoulda said that's not nice. Please I'm eating here. How would you like it if I said that about your food.
Oh, I definitely did say to my friend, "Well, it's not really a 'kick'... I'm a vegan. Not temporarily." And my friend (who really is a sweet & amazing person) just kind of looked at me like, "Yeah, okay. We'll see." ::) Haha. Oh, well. I just have to laugh about it so I don't go out of my mind...
And to that kid who said tofu was disgusting... I could kind of read that he had already made up his mind, and I didn't care enough to put up a fuss. I just told him about there being amazing tofu dishes & bad tofu dishes (just like all food types)... (The first time I ever tried tofu was when I was like 11 & my brother's godparents came over for dinner & brought a green salad with soft, raw tofu (unmarinated) just cubed into it! Haha. Blech! But at least they tried!) And then he ate his beef lo mein, so... :-\ Whateva whateva. I have to choose my battles, and the vibe I got from him was one of closed-mindedness. He was great in other ways, but when it came to the tofu thing, it was a closed-case, as far as he was concerned.
I really think that one of the only ways I don't go crazy (being in high school where people are just so nonjudgemental to begin with.....) is working at Cafe Indigo. Being in a place where the most exciting thing that happens in the day is making an amazing mac 'n sheese (fabulous product!) to serve as a special has definately helped me deal with some of the other things going on.
There must be SOMEONE near you who is vegan, we should have a map feature so we can see where everyone is from on here!
Fabulous idea, owalkerjillo!
JessaCita: Like you, I used to not care if people around me were veg or not, but the older I get and the more I learn, the more it bothers me, though I try valiantly not to let it show. I see you are in Minnesota. You can come hang out with me! I don't know any other vegans or even vegetarians and the town I live in is the home of the Hormel pig plant. There is an actual Spam museum here. No joke.
JessaCita: Like you, I used to not care if people around me were veg or not, but the older I get and the more I learn, the more it bothers me, though I try valiantly not to let it show. I see you are in Minnesota. You can come hang out with me! I don't know any other vegans or even vegetarians and the town I live in is the home of the Hormel pig plant. There is an actual Spam museum here. No joke.
Blech! Haha. Ewwww... Spam of all things, too. Jeez!
I don't know any other vegans, but I have a cousin (in another state) who is vegetarian... Aaaand, that's about it! Besides my lovely boyfriend who recently made the switch from major meat-lover (who was a vegetarian in high school) back to vegetarian again! :) It was never my goal to "convert" him, but it does make me really excited that he decided to go veg on his own! And while he's a vegetarian right now, he did tell me that he wants to eventually go vegan & feels that that's where he'll end up! :D Haha. As you can see, I am very pleased. Especially since I never, ever lectured him or told him he "had" to or anything of that nature. We would just talk about the things I had read & learned & researched--and he asked to read a term paper I wrote last year on sustainable agriculture & the huge environmental damage that animal agribusiness causes... Plus, we love to cook together a lot, and he has fallen in love with recipe after recipe that we've made (much thanks for the VegWebbers' recipes, of course!). I think loving the way the food tastes, in addition to how it makes you feel, makes it infinitely easier to eliminate the things you used to love (meat, dairy, eggs, etc.) & replace them with delicious animal-free alternatives. :)
Anyway, I feel your pain! While my omni friends & family are (for the most part) accepting of my lifestyle, it would be fantastic to have more people with my diet & "food values" to hang out with!
hey Jessa!
I just read your post--and I so know how you feel! Lately I have been horribly offended by stuff that used to be so common place--like commercials for meat products--it just really bothers me now! Or walking near the meat dept at a store or watching people eat at a restaurant.
And that thing when friends treat your dietary choice like a fad diet! EERG! Makes me so mad! The other night a "friend" I hadn't seen in awhile said to me in a very disgusted voice "eek! You're a vegetarian?? What do you eat, sticks and weeds?" Yea--that's right--all i eat are sticks and weeds because we all know that's the only thing on this earth that isn't made from flesh! This is also one of those people that complains about their weight but eats fast food, tons of sugar and processed foods everyday--if they eat any vegi's at all I would be shocked!
OMG! I could totally go on my own rant right now--but i won't! Trust that you are not alone in your feelings!
JC: That's very cool that your boyfriend went back to veg! Way to go on NOT pressuring him, too. I completely agree that, though it is hard to watch, people need to change in their own time at their own pace. My sister lived with me this summer and I think she is on the edge of conversion. She read Jane Goodall's book this summer, and we did a lot of cooking, so we'll see. I noticed she did not eat any brats or hamburgers on our family camping trip...
Austin, MN is where I'm at, if you're ever in the neighborhood, send a post my way. We won't go to the Spam museum, I promise.
Austin, MN is where I'm at, if you're ever in the neighborhood, send a post my way. We won't go to the Spam museum, I promise.
Haha. Okay! I am in the 'burbs of Minneapolis, but the next time (or the first time, actually :P) I make a trip out to Austin, I'll let you know! Thank you! :)
hey Jessa!
I just read your post--and I so know how you feel! Lately I have been horribly offended by stuff that used to be so common place--like commercials for meat products--it just really bothers me now! Or walking near the meat dept at a store or watching people eat at a restaurant.
And that thing when friends treat your dietary choice like a fad diet! EERG! Makes me so mad! The other night a "friend" I hadn't seen in awhile said to me in a very disgusted voice "eek! You're a vegetarian?? What do you eat, sticks and weeds?" Yea--that's right--all i eat are sticks and weeds because we all know that's the only thing on this earth that isn't made from flesh! This is also one of those people that complains about their weight but eats fast food, tons of sugar and processed foods everyday--if they eat any vegi's at all I would be shocked!
OMG! I could totally go on my own rant right now--but i won't! Trust that you are not alone in your feelings!
Capture, I feel you. Same as being told I eat rabbit food. Most times I feel sad more than disgusted though. If I had the money I'd be one of those people who buys lobster and live chicken in bulk and then sets them free. :'(
Just wanted to share that this morning I sat down with my nice, toasty piece of wheat bread which I bought from Cafe Indigo along with a bowl of some cereal and soymilk with raspberries in it and what do I see across from me? My 13 year old brother, eating a breakfast of RIBS. Yes. Ribs. As in watch me pull bones out of my mouth ribs. And then he proceeds to ask me "if you were on a deserted island and all you had to eat was a cow, would you?"
It reminded me of this thread :)
Where is this mythical island where all their is to eat are cow? Do the cows eat each other since there is noting else to eat? I'm rather amused by this--like you just happen to wash up on a totally barren island but there is a herd of caniabal cows! To be honest--if that's where you wound up--I htink the cows would eat you! HAHAHAHAHA!
Nice cow--just back away slowly--NOOOOOO! Don't eat me! I don'ttaste good!!!
http://i171.photobucket.com/albums/u284/rocka_chick_2011/6989ifh71x9o8k.gif
Where is this mythical island where all their is to eat are cow? Do the cows eat each other since there is noting else to eat? I'm rather amused by this--like you just happen to wash up on a totally barren island but there is a herd of caniabal cows! To be honest--if that's where you wound up--I htink the cows would eat you! HAHAHAHAHA!
Nice cow--just back away slowly--NOOOOOO! Don't eat me! I don'ttaste good!!!
http://i171.photobucket.com/albums/u284/rocka_chick_2011/6989ifh71x9o8k.gif
Haha. That cracks me up! :D
I don't tell many people I'm veg but when I do I usually get some comment like "I'm from farmer stock I just couldn't do that" as if I was judging them, when all I said was I'm veg. I was at the grocery store once and the cashier asks me if I'm a vegetarian. I say yes and the whole store turned around to look at me lol. Then she says that same thing, about not being able to do that herself ect. Did I ask her to? No.
And I want to say that phrase "the angry vegan" really cracked me up and yeah throwing paint on people is a little over the top eh? Not exactly the image that makes other people say 'hey, I wanna be just like them".
I used to be a messenger in Chicago and there was a lab that got a stat delivery each morning (straight off a plane to the lab) of experimented on mice. The odor told me all I needed to know, these mice had been though hell and were probably dead by the time I had them. It upset me but I'm a professional and I delivered them as friendly as if it anything else, then one morning the odor was over the top and it was horrifying to ponder as to what they had been though. When I got to the lab I mentioned the exceptionally bad odor and said "I wonder what you people are doing to these things" and the lab tech must have been traumatized by PETA people because her reaction to what I said was almost a panic. I was barred from making that delivery again too, just for that one comment.
Yeah so nothing good comes out of violence and it's counter to the vegan lifestyle anyway, I don't get why PETA can't understand this and so naturally people are going to have a negative conntation associated with vegan and this is ridiculous isn't it? Attack people, yeah that will enlighten them lol. "Bunch of weirdos eatting sticks and throwing paint on people, mommy I want to be just like that when I grow up".
Oh well, keep making vegans look good.
Hey' there's a spell check!
I don't tell many people I'm veg but when I do I usually get some comment like "I'm from farmer stock I just couldn't do that" as if I was judging them, when all I said was I'm veg.
I hate that too! Like just because it comes up you are a veg*n you're asking everyone else in the world to do it too?!? Peope get defensive over really stupid things that don't even concern them! And the crap about being from "farm stock" is bullsh*t! My entire family was raised on farms--I spent every weekend and summer feeding chickens and weeding the garden and going out in the field with my grandpa and that didn't stop me form becoming a vegetarian when I was in the 6th grade! (ok I did fall off the wagon the year out of high school--but I'm back now :P)
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